I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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