it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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