I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
