They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
