I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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