Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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