I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
