I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize