let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
