You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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