I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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