if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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