I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
