all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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