she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I woke up under a house in Key West
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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