thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
