I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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