OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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