white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
