I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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