we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
