It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
