Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
