I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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