That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
