Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
