Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
