Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
