You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
