I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
