Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize