You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize