HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
