There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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