After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize