i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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