Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
