Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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