we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
