I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
