my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
NoShamevember. You game?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
