Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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