he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sober January is a disaster.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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