Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
