barbara walters just said penis...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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