Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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