just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
