addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize