she smelled like a LAN party
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
