I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it glows. i had to have it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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