You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
