I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
