I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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