piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
