no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
