we have pet lesbian snakes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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