my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
