god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
