She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
