quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
