chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
