I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
