no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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