You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
