It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
