I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
