I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
