I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
