He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
